"I can't believe he cheated on me!"

"Why not? He was cheating on his last girlfriend when he hooked up with you!"

This shit isn't rocket science. Men, for the most part, are dogs. If we think we won't get caught, we'll hit anything moving. The bitch doesn't even have to be attractive, gainfully employed, single, or anything else. We don't give a fuck! Pussy is pussy!

I'm not out to dog men, hell I am one. That's how I know what the fuck I'm talking about. I hooked up with my fiancée when I was still in a relationship. And don't think she didn't know it! She was well aware that the bed we were fucking in belonged to some other bitch. She didn't care, and at that point neither did I.

Now here's the fucked up part. If I were to do the same thing to her, could she get mad? She shouldn't! We live in a world of 'do unto others before they do unto you'. Get it while the getting is good. Fortunately, she put it on me so good I don't want to go anywhere else for it. I'm tempted to drive to my mother's house and slap the shit out of her for not telling me pussy could be so good! I might just do that shit too! (No, my mother does not read this shit!)

All I'm trying to say is this: Don't be a dumb ass when you get into relationships. It doesn't matter how good he can fuck. It doesn't matter how he treats you when you're with him. Wrong is wrong. Just imagine coming home one night and sucking your man's dick and tasting another bitch's pussy. Fucked up right? So why would you do that shit to another woman?

Men are fucked up. I'll give you that. The problem is, women are just as fucked up. The difference between the two is that we don't have The Oprah Channel, Lifetime, Oxygen, WE and all that other shit to help us get our bitch on. So stop Exhaling. Breathe bitch. Find yourself a good man and be good to him. You'd be amazed at the results.

B1G $h@n3

I asked my daughter how I was doing as a father today. She told me I was doing okay. What the fuck is okay? On a scale from A to F where exactly does okay fall? I didn't know, so I asked her to clarify. She gave me the same damned answer.

Seeing as how she couldn't be pressed to elucidate further, I asked her how she felt she was doing as a child. She thought she was doing pretty good. 'Bullshit! You're a horrible child!' Caught off guard, she wanted to know why. I told her that if I was only doing okay as a father it's her fault and she should be a better child so I can be a better father! Not losing a beat, she says, 'Dad, you're mental.' Hell, I never said I wasn't!

I don't like you. I've never liked you. I don't intend on ever liking you. It would do me a world of good if you just went and stayed away! Forever!

More than likely, we met each other through a mutual acquaintance. This doesn't make us friends. This means that we know someone who just happens to know both of us. For the sake of that mutual acquaintance, I employ my good neighbor act. I'm nice to you in front of them. This doesn't mean I like you. This means that I give a shit about the feelings of said mutual acquaintance. Once I've decided that I can't stand their ass, I'll be rid of both of you!

It's simple (even for you). I don't call you. I don't come visit you. I have no idea what your child's name is, even though the child is 10 years old and I've 'known' you for 8 of those years. I don't know where you live. I don't know what you drive. I just hit on your wife because I didn't know you were married! She must not like you either because she slipped her number in my pocket when you weren't looking!

Do what you have to. Delete me from your friends' list, buddy list, contact list, Christmas card list, and any other list you may have me on. Trust me. The only list I have you on is my SHIT list, and frankly I'd like to remove you from that so I don't have to think of you at all!

In closing, I was going to tell you to get a life. Fuck that, you're better off dead.

B1G $h@n3

I feel so much better today than I did yesterday. After writing a letter to Autumn (which I don't know if she got yet) and voicing some of the things that were bothering me, it's like I've got some strange second wind or something. I don't know if that's true or not, but fuck it, I'm going with it!

I'm here writing because I don't know what else to do. I'm at the end of my rope and don't know where else to turn to. I haven't posted anything here in so long that I doubt anyone is going to read this, but that's okay. I need this place again. When I started blogging, I was in a similar place. I feel like I'm back there again. Blogstream saved me once. I hope the waters have a little bit of whatever was in it last time I was here so it can save me again.

I almost died two weeks ago. I truly believe this. Mentally, I've been dying for quite some time. My spirit is diminished almost to the point of extinction. I tried to go to church to kick start my spirit. That worked for almost a month. I don't know what happened, but I stopped going. The death I'm talking about is the physical one. I had an operation that didn't go so well, and after a week, it almost took me out. I learned something from it though. No one really gives a shit.

There were 4 people with me in the hospital. Autumn, Stacie, my Mother, and my Aunt. Of all the people I know, they were the only ones there for me. This had a profound effect on me. I call a lot of people 'friend'. Yes, I do know better than to believe that bullshit. In reality, I have a lot of acquaintances. None of them were there. As a result, I've hardened that much more of my heart.

I've lost the fire with which I started this post so I'm going to end it here. I can't seem to stay on task with a lot of shit lately. I don't know what to do about that yet. I'll be back here again. Count on that.