Sorry Night Bug. I didn't even realize that I stole your ONE OF THEM thing. I do remember reading your post, and that's probably how I got onto that whole thing. I just didn't realize it. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

Blaque-Out!

I can't believe this. I'm either getting old, set in my ways, dumber by the day, or I'm becoming ONE OF THEM!!!

I'm becoming an internet idiot! I can't even believe I'm saying it, but it's true. As you guys know, I've been without a computer for a while. At first I was thankful for the rest. But then I startd to miss it. Now that I'm back I figured that I'd go back to my usual haunts and hideaways. That didn't happen. Guess why. I'm becoming ONE OF THEM!!!

(I've been trying to put this guy after each time I type ONE OF THEM!!! but it's not working. Try to add it mentally. Thank you for your participation.)

I've forgotten how to use the internet! Sure I can search for shit and look things up. I've lost the 'inness' of knowing where the hot new sites are. I was up on Bubb Rubb and 2 girls 1 cup way before they became internet icons. But now, now I've got nothing. I don't know where shit is anymore and don't know where to find it.

Music is my thing. I love to download music. I was an original Napster junkie! I spent mad time (not money) downloading music. When that got hot, I would just go somewhere else and do more of the same. Bittorrent? All over it. I had movies, music, PORN, and all that shit with just a few presses of a button. And let's not even talk about bookmarks and hotkeys! For real though. I was the man. Now I'm ONE OF THEM!!!

All I do now is Blogstream, GMail, YouTube, and Imeem. How pathetic am I? Where do I go for help? Is there an anonomous program I could take my laptop to? Someone throw me a fucking bone here man! (Not you Sam. I don't know why, but I think you can and do read my blog when your human isn't with you.)

I eagerly await your help. I would do it for you. You know I would! Don't let me become ONE OF THEM! Please...

Blaque-Out!

I woke up and had to post this.

I apologize for all the recent posts about my penis and other such shit. It's not that I don't have other more topical things to write about, because I do. The reason I write about what I do is simple. It's what I know.

I'm passionate about a few things. Singing is one of them. Writing is the other. You would think being a songwriter should have entered my mind. It didn't. Why? Because I would probably write songs about my penis! Seriously. Like I stated above, it's what I know.

I'm not qualified to write about a whole lot. I can't say that I haven't done a whole lot. I have. I just choose not to write about those things at this time. As I grow more and have more life experiences, I'll write about them. Until then, I'll just keep on with what I'm doing. I don't force anyone to read this shit. It seems like people keep coming by to check it out. I guess my formula is working (at least for some).

I can assure you that I won't be posting any more pictures of my genitalia. (You're welcome Night Bug) I hear recently that the penis isn't exactly 'pretty'. Riddle me this: Have you ever really looked at a vagina? Nuff said I reckon!

And this is the type of shit that wakes me up at 3:57 in the morning....

Blaque-Out!

Sometimes my female readers have a good point or come up with some good shit. When this happens I feel obligated to give them their turn atop my soap-box. Sorry guys, here it is...

Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr. in it;
Female has Male in it;

She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
Okay, it all makes sense now...


MEN tal illness
MEN strual cramps
MEN tal breakdown
MEN opause
GUY necologist

AND . When we have REAL trouble, it's a

HIS terectomy.

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with
MEN?

Good one. Expect retribution to follow!

Blaque-Out!

I woke up and realized something. I've stopped masturbating! That may not be a big thing to you, but it's huge to me. Hell, I practically invented the Wake and Shake (copyright pending). I can't believe this has happened.

I had such big plans for myself. I had intended to represent my country when they made masturbating an Olympic sport. For real. I was going to enter several categories. Speed. Accuracy. Distance. And I'm ambidextrous so I was going to go for freestyle too! Now what?

The sad thing is this: I didn't mean to stop. It's not like I woke up one day and decided to stop beating my shit. Guess why I stopped? I can't reach it anymore! Fatassalitis (copyright pending) has finally struck me somewhere fatal. Sure fat over the heart and clogged airways and arteries are bad, but this is terrible. My sex life is officially over!

Blaque-Out!