I'm still here! Wait, I wrote that already... Court wasn't as crazy as I thought it was going to be. In fact, it went really easy! I was a bit nervous when I initially got there, but a familiar face eased my mind. As I was walking up to the courthouse, I caught a glimpse of my sister. At first I was like, WTF? I guess she was there representing one of her clients or something. I really didn't get into her business.

Anyhoo, I talked to my sister about what was going on, she gave me her best wishes, $20.00, and a heartfelt 'I Love You' then she bounced. Still scared, I walked into the place and went to the bathroom and blew chunks. My nerves are really close to the surface and I usually get bubble guts or have to fart alot when I'm agitated.

Off to the little room in the back with the mean ladies. One look at my paperwork and the woman behind the counter began to roll her eyes and start to get all pissy looking. One look at me and her whole tone seemed to change. She did everyhing for me. Lots of rewriting, and a whole lot of signatures later I was done with her. For the moment anyway. She told me where to go to get the next part done, then told me to come back. Umm, okay...

No matter what I had felt about that woman when I got there (from past experience), I was loving her now. It turns out that when your paperwork is filled out correctly, things go alot smoother for you! In a nutshell, all my court fees were waived! I don't have to pay to have my children's mothers served. I don't have to pay for representation, and I don't have to pay for all that paperwork!

My next court date is in April. That's when I'll know something. In the mean time and in between time I'll be waiting for some msjor shit to pop off. But until that happens, GOD is good, all the time!

Today I go to court. More paperwork. More mean assed clerks telling me I'm filling out the paperwork wrong. I'm already going into it with short patience, which isn't good. But is it a coincidence that I have to go on Monday? There can't be a worse day than today to be doing this sort of shit!

Truth be told, I don't even want to go. Truth be told, I had already consigned myself to the fact that I was going to prison behind all this shit. My girlfriend on the other hand (ever the optimist), thinks that I should keep fighting.

GOD bless her. She's spent more time doing paperwork for me and some more shit than you can believe. I don't have the patience for this shit. I would really rather go to prison than deal with these people. They seem to treat me like shit, just because I'm there. There's nothing worse than that. I may have a defeatist attitude about it, but I just figure that their ultimate goal is for me to do some time, so let's just do it! Great, I just made the NIKE commercial for deadbeat dads!

Nothing more to say. For now at least. I'll fill you in when I know more.

Yesterday I felt appreciated. Most people go to work, do what they have to do while they're there, and then go home. This doesn't mean that they don't like their jobs, it is what it is. Most people don't ever get that sense of being appreciated. Myself included. But yesterday was different.

My boss was scheduled to have surgery on his hand yesterday. Instead of closing down the shop until (or if) he got back, I opted to stay. To my surprise he gave me something I had never gotten before. He gave me a key to the store. I know that that isn't a really big thing. Fuck that, it was to me.

A key to me means a lot of things. Most of all it symbolizes trust. Even though I've known the man I work for since he was a boy, I never assumed anything as far as trust goes. Especially when it concerns the store. I will admit, there were some people working here before me that I personally wouldn't have given a key to, but he trusted them so what can I do? I'll also admit that I was more than a bit jealous that I was never given a key. Anyhoo...

I was gassed up to the max. I felt really important! I don't know why, but I had all these ideas on what I would do. I wanted to make my boss proud. I wanted to show him that I was worthy of responsibility he had given me. I was even willing to CLEAN

I'm glad I didn't clean anything! That bastard came back and didn't even acknowledge that I had done anything. Personally, I was impressed. The store was still standing. Nothing had been stolen. We actually made some money. What the fuck else could you expect? I guess I'll never know. He took his key back and along with it any happy, happy, joy, joy feelings I had attached to it. Asshole.

Maybe that's why I seem less motivated. I love coming to work. Mostly to see what the hell is going to go on here. But I do still enjoy the feeling of making the sale. But for real though, I think I want a key....

Dayum, I plucked this from the 'He-Man Woman Hater's Club'. Hope you enjoy.

I got no comments on this one the first time I posted it. It's probably commercially known by now, but when I presented it to you all it was some really hot shit. Here goes: I hope you enjoy it again, for the first time.

Sha Clack Clack

i know you are but what am I?

infinity

if i could find the spot where truth echoes
i would stand there and whisper memories of my children's future
i would let their future dwell in my past
so that i might live a brighter now

now is the essence of my domain
but it contains all that was and will be
and i am as i was and will be
because i am and
always will be that nigga

i am that nigga

i am that timeless nigga
that swings on pendulums like vines
though mines of booby-trapped minds
that are enslaved by time
i am the life that supersedes lifetimes

i am

it was me with serpentine hair
that witha timeless stare
turned mortal fear into stone time capsules
they still exist as the walking dead
as i do: the original suffer-head
symbol of life
and matriarchy's severed head
medusa, i am

it was me the ecclesiastical one
that pointed out that nothing
was new under the sun
and through times of laughter and times of tears
saw that no time was real time
'cause all times were fear
the wise seer
Solomon, i am

it was me with tattered clothes
that made you scatter
as you shuffled past me on the street
yes, you shuffled past me on the street
as i stood there conversing with wind-blown spirits
and i fear it's your loss that you didn't stop and talk to me
i could have told you your past as i explained your present
but instead i'm the homeless schizophrenic
that you resent for being aimless
the intuned nameless,

i am
i am that nigga
i am that nigga
i am that nigga
i am a negro
negro from necro,
meaning death
i overcame it

so they named me after it
and i be spittin' at death from behind
and putting "kick me" signs on its' back
because i am not the son of
sha clack clack
i am before that
i am before
i am before before
before death is eternity
after death is eternity
there is no death there is only eternity
and i be riding on the wings of eternity
like: yah! yah!

sha clack clack

i exist like spit-fire
which you call the sun
and try to map out your future with sun-dails
but tic-toc-technology can no tic-toc me

i exist somewhere between tic and toc
dodging it like double-dutch
got me living double time
i was there before your time
my heart is made of the quartz crystals
that you be making clocks out of
and i be resurrection' every third
like: tic-tic-tic

sha clack clack

no i won't work a nine to five
because i am setting suns and orange moons
and my existence is this:
still
yet ever moving
and i am moving beyond time
because it binds me
it can set me free and
i'll fly when the clock strikes me
like: yah! yah!

sha clack clack

bvut my flight does not go undisturbed
because time makes dreams defer
and all of my time fears
are turning my days into day-mares
and i live day-mares
reliving nightmares
that once haunted my past

sha clack clack

time is beatin' my ass
and i be havin' dreams
of chocolate covered watermelons
filled with fried chicken like pinatas

with little pickaninny sons and daughters
standing up under them with
big sticks and aluminum foil,
hittin' them,
trying to catch pieces
of fallen fried chicken wings.
and aunt jemima and uncle ben
are standing in the corners
with rifles pointed at all of the heads
of the little children.

"don't shoot the children", i shout.
"don't shoot the children!"
But it's too late.
they've already been infected by time.
but this shit is before my time...
(i need more time! i need less time!)
...but it's too late.

they start shooting at the children
and killing them:
one by one
two by two
three by three
four by four
five by five
six by six
but my spirit is growing
seven by seven
faster than the speed of light
'cause light only penetrates the darkness
that's already there
and i am already there
i'm here at the end of the road
which is the beginning
of the road beyond time
but where my niggas at?
oh no
don't tell me
my niggas are lost in time
my niggas are lost in time

my niggas are dying before their time
my niggas are dying because of time.

Are you kidding me? That was and is some of the deepest shit I haveever heard in my life! Word to my dead gold-fish! I have nothing else to say! Nothing can be better than that. I'll write again when I've gotten over the enormity of the knowledge that was just dropped on you niggas out there. Dayum that shit was tight!

Profound thought of the moment: When I'm through giving you all my knowledge and my theory, I add a mother fucker so the ignant niggas hear me! - Lauryn Hill

This was supposed to be a comment on Biggie T.'s post today, but I couldn't figure out how to attach a picture to my comment. If I am to get any sour grapes for this, forward them to Biggie!





There may be something wrong with the author. At least that's what Hetzie seems to think. But what does she know, she's going to CCSU!