I don't like to forecast negative shit about myself, but I can't help this one. I owe a ridiculous amount of child support, and the state wants their money! Guess what? I ain't got it!

I've been out of work for over a year, mostly due to problems with my health. As you may know, I've got sleep apnea. There's times when I CAN'T stay awake. That may sound like narcolepsy, but I'm assured that it's not. I don't sleep during the evening, so I can't stay awake during the day. (I've got a machine for it that I don't use.) Oh yeah, I'm morbidly obese and I've got diabetes too.

I went to court and narrowly avoided getting locked up. I fell asleep in the courtroom and was asked to leave. I guess I snore too loud. My bad. By the end of the day, I was given a reprieve because even though I'm not working, I am taking steps to make sure my children get the money they need.

I've applied for disability. If I'm granted disability I'll get a monthly income and my children will get some kind of stipend also. Believe it or not, that was the only thing that allowed me to go home that day. I guess there's more than one kind of disability. One concerns itself with you, the other takes your children into consideration too. It would seem that I chose wisely.

The court doesn't want to hear that you have children and aren't taking care of them. Hell, who does? Seeing as I've got all these physical ailments, the magistrate ordered me to get some paperwork from my doctor saying that I can't work. Did I mention, can't work AT ALL? I don't know if I can produce a paper of that kind. If I can't, I guess I'll be a resident at the Grey Bar Hotel...

For most of my working career I've made my living driving. Chinese food, pizza, medical supplies, payrolls, tow trucks, fork lifts, whatever. This is what I do. I drive. Now that I've got this shit, I can't stay awake to drive. If I don't have a co-driver I can't drive. End of story. My work history shows this. The last time I was behind the wheel working I ran over (into) a child. That was the last day I wanted to be behind the wheel, so I stopped.

I tried other jobs. I can't stay on my feet for too long. When I do, my legs begin to tingle and I have to sit down. I guess tingling I could handle. My legs start to hurt! Or if it wasn't that, I would find myself waking up. Obviously that would mean that I had fallen asleep. Now if I can't sit for too long without falling asleep, and I can't stay awake for too long without doing the same... It would seem that I can't work right? Shit, I hope so.

The fucked up part is, that's not even what's going to put me in jail. I'm going to prison because I can't get to the court to fill out the paperwork to save my ass. I had someone that was nice enough to go and fill things out for me, but they couldn't sign my name for me. Now I have to try and get there so I can put my signature on some papers. Time is running out and I haven't done it yet. The time they gave me to accomplish everything seemed adequate at the time, but it's really not. My back's against the wall here. I've got to do something real soon or it's my ass.

I'm taking a day off where I volunteer daily to get all this shit done. I'm going to have to rely on public transportation to get there. No problem right? Wrong. I fall asleep on a city bus faster than most people fall asleep in their own bed. What do I do? Run? Turn myself in and stay until they tell me I can leave? What? Whatever they say, I hope I'll have access to the internet so I can tell you all what's going down.

HOLLA!

In 2009 the government will start killing all ugly people. When I found this out, I immediately thought of you! Run, bitch run!

My girlfriend talks. A lot! It's her favorite thing to do. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't insist on talking to ME! She tells me everything. In a relationship I guess that would be considered a good thing, right? Maybe you didn't understand me. She tells me EVERYTHING!

I realize that I may be being a bit sensitive about this. Understand one thing. I'm about to embark on a 180 mile trip with her. One of us may not make it back! I plan on slipping something in her drink to make her sleep. I won't make it any other way! If that doesn't work, I've got a shotgun, some lime, a shovel, hydrochloric acid, and some gloves.

I feel bad when I say things like that. (sort of) Sometimes she actually has some pretty cool things to say. Maybe even more than sometimes. I wouldn't know, because I spend so much time trying NOT to listen to her. I know I sound like a bastard, but dig this; Even if I did listen to her all the time, she talks so fast I couldn't comprehend everything she says anyway! So instead of half-listening and getting shit wrong, I just don't listen at all. Hell, a beatdown is a beatdown right?

I have figured out that there is a time when she doesn't talk. She seems to be really quiet when we're doing the damned thing! If I could just keep giving her the wood I'd be alright! Anyone have any viagara I could have?

My words have power. Not absolute power, not world changing power. That would be absurd. (Nice, but absurd.) The power they hold is different. It's subtle. Hell, it's sorta scary. I have yet to become drunk with the power, but I'm working on it.

Here at J's Car Audio I work the front. It's my job to meet, greet, and fleece the (sheep) customers that come in. Even though I don't get paid for what I do, I take it very seriously. Why? The owner is one of my best friends on the planet, and I like to think that the better I do, the more I help him support his family. It's an ego thing, but it gets me through the day.

The average customer who walks in the door has a vague idea about what they want. They're the best people to work with. As long as their idea is vague, I can help mold it into something. It's the people that know EXACTLY what they want that are the hardest to deal with. A lot of times they're just putting random things together that have no business going together (but they look nice). Either way, I'm the one who has to deal with them. Here's where the power comes in.

By knowing as much as I do about the products we carry, and how they integrate together, I HELP the customer make educated decisions about what to put into their vehicle. I never used to think of this as power, but it is! These people put their trust in me. My recommendation of one product over another can have HUNDREDS of dollars worth of difference on the total price. Yes it's my job to make money for the store. It's also my job to give the customer the best bang for their buck. A conflict of interest at times? Maybe. There are actually times when I have to tell someone NOT to spend as much money as they want to. It's not always necessary. You can not imagine how hard it is to tell someone they're spending too much money for the desired effect. Bling bling aside, give me a break!

Oh well, I'll try not to let my power go to my head. If you're ever in the mood for some good car audio sounds, give us a try. You can look at out website by clicking on AJ'S Car Audio in my sites I like section.

Holla back.

I was going to keep on with what I've been writing about, but I didn't want to lose my core audience. So with that in mind, here it is, the news report that McDonald's didn't want you to see...



Holla at your boy!