My girlfriend talks. A lot! It's her favorite thing to do. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't insist on talking to ME! She tells me everything. In a relationship I guess that would be considered a good thing, right? Maybe you didn't understand me. She tells me EVERYTHING!

I realize that I may be being a bit sensitive about this. Understand one thing. I'm about to embark on a 180 mile trip with her. One of us may not make it back! I plan on slipping something in her drink to make her sleep. I won't make it any other way! If that doesn't work, I've got a shotgun, some lime, a shovel, hydrochloric acid, and some gloves.

I feel bad when I say things like that. (sort of) Sometimes she actually has some pretty cool things to say. Maybe even more than sometimes. I wouldn't know, because I spend so much time trying NOT to listen to her. I know I sound like a bastard, but dig this; Even if I did listen to her all the time, she talks so fast I couldn't comprehend everything she says anyway! So instead of half-listening and getting shit wrong, I just don't listen at all. Hell, a beatdown is a beatdown right?

I have figured out that there is a time when she doesn't talk. She seems to be really quiet when we're doing the damned thing! If I could just keep giving her the wood I'd be alright! Anyone have any viagara I could have?